Here are the finest players in all the land:

OFFENSE

Quarterback: Vince Young, Texas

It’s his time. He earned it. His stats are great–over 2,500 yards passing and almost 800 rushing, and a combined 30 touchdowns–and his team is undefeated. Plus, he’s a revolutionary, once-in-a-decade type of player. And, despite what they say, Matt Leinart is NOT having a better season than he had last year.

Running Back: Reggie Bush, USC

No one has rushed for more yards in fewer carries in a season in NCAA history than Reggie Bush. Want some perspective? Herschel Walker had 1,752 rushing yards in his Heisman winning season of 1982. He gained those yards in 335 carries. Bush currently has 163 carries–less than half of Walker’s total–and is just 354 yards shy of Walker’s yardage. He’ll probably hit 1,700 yards by the time he gets to 200 carries. Nine yards a carry for a season? Sick.

Fullback: Brian Leonard, Rutgers

I’d like to welcome the fullback position back to All-American status. Leonard was the best, rushing for 694 yards and 10 TDs and catching another 49 balls with five TDs. Sounds like an All-American fullback to me!

Offensive Line: None

Per HP tradition, we will not choose an All-American offensive line. We refuse to do so because, unlike other people who pick All-American teams, we admit that we have no idea who really is the best offensive lineman. There are no stats to go by. Highlights rarely show what they do. We could go off of hearsay, but wouldn’t that be dishonest? What’s more, there are 585 starting offensive linemen in Division One. It’s almost impossible to have seen enough of them to know who is the best. So, while other All-American teams choose linemen almost solely based on reputation, we will not.

Based on raw stats, however, we will choose the best line unit. That honor goes to USC’s offensive line, which paced the Trojan attack to 250 yards per game on the ground while allowing just 14 sacks, which of course enabled Trojan quarterbacks to throw for 322 yards per game.

Tight End: Marcedes Lewis, UCLA

This was a no-brainer. He has 55 catches for 711 yards and 10 touchdowns. He’s the most physically gifted college tight end in years. Yes, that includes those Miami guys.

Wide Receiver: Dwayne Jarrett, USC; Mike Haas, Oregon State

Jarrett is the touchdown machine, the gazelle-like wunderkind who can dominate a game. He has 75 catches and 14 TDs. Haas is the receiving machine, with 90 grabs for a nation-leading 1,523 yards.

Placekicker: Alexis Serna, Oregon State

It already seems like Serna has been around for 10 years. He leads the nation in field goals with 23.

No one comes close to Lewis

DEFENSE

Defensive End: Elvis Dumervil, Lousville; Tamba Hali, Penn State

Dumervil has had one of the most dominant years ever by an end, notching 20 sacks. Hali has 17 tackles for loss and is an anchor of PSU’s line.

Defensive Tackle: Broderick Bunkley, Florida State; Haloti Ngata, Oregon

How Bunkley continues to fly beneath the national radar is mystifying. He has an amazing 20.5 tackles for loss, almost unheard of for an interior lineman. Ngata has 59 tackles, nine of them for loss and will be a first-round pick in the next draft.

Linebacker: Paul Posluszny, Penn State; A.J. Hawk, Ohio State; D’Qwell Jackson, Maryland

These three guys carried their respective defenses all year. Posluszny had 111 tackles and 11 tackles for loss, Hawk had 109 tackles and 13 tackles for loss and Jackson had 137 tackles.

Cornerback: Kelly Jennings, Miami (Fla.); Alan Zemaitis, Penn State

Jennings had 16 pass defenses for Miami, while Zemaitis had 15 for Penn State. Both were lock-down corners on very good defenses.

Safety: Darnell Bing, USC; Tom Zbikowski, Notre Dame

Bing had four interceptions and proved to be one of the best hitters around, while Zbikowski just seemed to make play after play.

Punter: Danny Baugher, Arizona

He didn’t punt enough to qualify for the NCAA leaderboard, but he averaged 47.5 yards per punt and showed a real knack at pinning foes deep.

Punt Returner: Maurice Drew, UCLA

Averaged a ridiculous 29 yards per return and had three touchdowns.

Kickoff Returner: Ted Ginn, Ohio State

Averaged 29.56 a return, third in the nation.

All-Purpose: Reggie Bush, USC

Bush led the nation in all-purpose yardage with 212 per game.

A great safety, also a very good punt returner

–I find this particular piece on USC’s leaky defense to be pretty funny. Leaky D May Be Thorn In USC’s Side it says. Sorry, but this story might have made sense in September, when plenty of games were still to be played. We are now at the end of November and the Trojans are 11-0. Clearly, the defense hasn’t stopped this team from fighting for the national title, has it? At this point, it will either play well enough to beat UCLA and Texas or it won’t.

–One of my pet peeves is seeing a writer refer to a team’s linebacking corps. There is no such word in football. Receivers are part of a receiving corps because they receive. Linebackers do not ‘lineback.’

–Hey! What ever happened to All-American fullbacks? Why can’t there be an honor to players who play fullback? I know, some teams don’t have fullbacks….but some teams don’t have tight ends either and yet there still is an All-American tight end. What about it? Why do All-American teams ignore that position?

Bring back the good ol’ days, when fullbacks roamed the earth…

–Even though Vince Young will not win the Heisman, it’s nice to see him get his props heading into the Big 12 Title game. He’s on the cover of SI now. Is there a more overblown jinx anywhere? Read on.

–EDSBS put out its 52 Reasons ESPN/ABC/Disney Sucks today. Enjoy the read, then get ready for a month-long fill of ESPN/ABC/Disney. My least-favorite Sportscenterisms: “He’s matriculating his way down the field”, “Meeechigan” and “He. Could. Go. All. The. Way.”

–Courtesy of Sports By Brooks.com, see ABC sideline reporter Suzy Shuster (the wife of equally annoying ESPN talking head Rich Eisen) ask Bill Callahan the following after he was doused with Gatorade after the Huskers’ win over Colorado:

“Was that one of the more gratifying dumps you’ve had?”

Writes Brooks: Based on the look on Callahan’s face, you probably don’t need to watch the video to know the answer. Actually, Shuster should’ve asked Nebraska AD Steve Pederson the same question after he hired Callahan.

Reason No. 53 not to watch ESPN

–I saw these before at an FSU game and now they are popping up all over the place. A brilliant marketing ploy for the Seminoles…or the next bit of spam in your email.

–Want some good rivalry stuff? This from USC fullback Brandon Hancock on UCLA:

“We respect Notre Dame and at the end of the day it’s a pretty healthy rivalry. But all bets are off with these pansies,” Hancock said. “We don’t want to just beat them. We want to hurt them. We’re not going to call the dogs off in the third or fourth quarter. We want to send a message.”

–Tim Brando is not known for being a bright bulb. His latest 3-and-Out column has this following gem:

Enough with Oregon and the Pac-10 whining about two-loss Ohio State and Notre Dame going to the Fiesta Bowl instead of the Ducks. The Pac-10 agreed to the parameters of the BCS; if it wants to blame someone, it needs to look in the mirror.

Tim, what exactly were the parameters that said a 2-loss team should get a BCS berth over a one-loss team because it has a bigger fan base or gets better TV ratings? The answer is that there is none. I’m not necessarily arguing that Oregon should be there over those teams. But don’t act like the Fiesta Bowl has its hands tied and can’t pick Oregon if it so chooses. Oregon and the Pac-10 has every right–even within the BCS parameters–to make a case for the Ducks going to the Fiesta. And if you ever hear any whining about the BCS, it’s usually not coming from out West, but from Red River or Bayou country.

–Sporting News’ Matt Hayes has had a tough last couple years. His preseason picks have been atrociously off (he chose Auburn in 2003 and Georgia in 2004) and now he’s cornered himself into making a case for Vince Young for Heisman. Now, that’s all well and good. We’ve said over and over again how special Young is–we had him No. 3 on our preaseason list–and have no problem with the idea that he is Heisman worthy. But Hayes’ reasoning this season just continues to irk:

The annual Heisman Trophy ballot states: “I hereby designate (insert name, college) as my first choice to win the Heisman Memorial Trophy awarded to the outstanding college football player for 2005.

It doesn’t say anything about being the guy who is the most valuable, the guy with the best numbers, the guy whose team is ranked the highest, the guy who had clutch performances in big games or the guy from the toughest conference.

No, it doesn’t Matt. It says ‘Most Outstanding’.

But Matt has another idea:

And that’s what the Heisman is all about: a player developing into an elite performer while carrying his team on a memorable championship ride.

Matt, it says ‘Most Outstanding’.

To me — and the Downtown Athletic Club gives me this flexibility — the award is a compilation of three factors: numbers, making a championship run and performance in big games.

Um, it says ‘Most Outstanding’. But what about all that stuff about an elite performer carrying his team on a championship ride? Oh, never mind.

So it then goes to performance in big games. In Texas’ three biggest games — against Ohio State, Oklahoma and Texas Tech — Young accounted for 916 total yards and eight touchdowns. In USC’s three biggest games — against Oregon, Notre Dame and California — Bush accounted for 614 total yards and five touchdowns.

This is pure disingenuousness on Hayes’ part. USC’s three biggest games were against Oregon, Notre Dame and Fresno State. Those were the three top 15 teams that USC played this season. In those games, Bush had 1,045 total yards and seven touchdowns. Once again, there’s no shame in voting for Young, but don’t massage the stats to serve your purpose, Matt!

It’s really simple: Just say that you think that Vince Young is the ‘Most Outstanding’ and give him your vote. It’s really not that hard.

Like I said, the decision is fairly simple once the parameters are clearly defined.

They were clearly defined from the beginning in black and white on the ballot you received. Wish I could say the same about your column.

When a player’s high school highlight tapes start appearing in the New York Times four or five years after the fact, you know he is probably a legend in the making.

Click here to read the story about Reggie Bush’s prep career and see his incredible highlight reel.

At Helix, nostalgic faculty members play it for laughs. At U.S.C., coaches have used it to regale guests. Check out the clip where he runs across the field and back again; the one where he breaks two tackles at the same time; the one where he spins away from a defender, fakes another and hurdles a third; the one where he …

Bush’s college highlights have made him a national phenomenon, but his pre-college highlights are the grainy stuff of prep legend.

I’ve watched a lot of high school highlights. The only tape I’ve seen that is comparable to Bush’s is Ted Ginn’s.

Despite what South Bay Daily Breeze columnist Mike Waldner writes here, the race for the Heisman is over and it won’t be close.

What if the unthinkable happening includes the Bruins, who have appeared unable of stopping your grandmother from gaining yards on the ground, slam the door on Bush, holding him to, say, 25 yards, and, making matters even worse, he fumbles the ball away two or three times, and he does nothing major catching the ball or returning kicks (no punts because the Bruins will not be punting in this unthinkable game)?

If you have to come up with unthinkable scenarios to keep the Heisman from going to Bush, then I have news from you: It ain’t happening.

As further proof of just how far the Trojan tailback has run away from the field, see this week’s Scripps Howard Poll, in which the voters went for Bush unanimously. I’ve been following the Heisman race for a while and I’ve never seen the SHNS poll come up with a unanimous leader this late in the season. If the working media is this much on board with Bush, you can bet the Heisman rank and file types are going ga-ga as well.

It’s Bush in a landslide. Even if he has a bad game against UCLA, he still will win.

It’s over. The voters have already decided.

Check it out in animated form.

Pretty cool stuff.

Stats can be tricky things.

Not so much with the Heisman though. Not if you don’t make them tricky.

How many times this season did you read a random columnist mention one player or another’s statistics to justify that player winning or not winning the Heisman?

A bunch, that’s how many.

In fact, you hear it almost every year. And every year, it almost never matters. Then, you hear it again the next year anyway.

The fact that Reggie Bush had individual rushing games of 51, 82, 86 and 97 yards this season will not prevent him from winning the Heisman.

Last year, Matt Leinart had exactly one 300-yard passing game before being awarded the Heisman.

Erich Crouch threw more interceptions than touchdowns the year he won.

The point is that as long as a player reaches a certain plateau statwise–if his stats are deemed ‘Heisman worthy’–then it doesn’t really matter if he had some ‘off’ games or if his stats aren’t the best around. The voters don’t give a rip.

That’s because voters already have a predisposition to vote for a player from a traditional power. Could a quarterback from Iowa State do what Crouch did and win the Heisman? Nope. Could a running back from Oregon rush for 1,400 yards and be the runaway winner of the Heisman? No way.

So much more goes into the Heisman besides stats. The better your team is, the better its tradition, the more publicity you get, the better you do on TV, the more you capture the moment….all that, plus your statistics gives you a chance to win the Heisman Trophy.

Unless you do pull a Barry Sanders or a Ty Detmer, you’re not going to win based just on your numbers.

And that’s why, in the end, all the people who use statistics to justify why one player is a better Heisman candidate than another are just wasting their time.

But, of course, it will happen again next season, the one after that and for eternity.

Next year, when Brady Quinn’s numbers are surpassed by Joe Blow from Non-Traditional-Power State and he still wins the Heisman, I don’t want to hear people complain.

If stats mattered, Omar Jacobs would’ve been your 2004 Heisman winner

Some random thoughts on the weekend:

–The Reggie Bush for Heisman avalanche continues as he is a unanimous leader in the ESPN poll. Can’t say that I’ve ever seen that before.

–Any hope for Vince Young that Bush would have a lackluster game against UCLA just went into the trash with the injury to LenDale White. That means more opportunities for Bush against an atrocious Bruin defense. Of course, White will play, but he probably won’t carry as much as he normally would.

–Young gets unfairly reamed by Collegefootballnews.com for allegedly pouting during the Texas-Texas A&M game. I’m sorry, but can you really tell through your TV set if someone is pouting? Unless you were able to talk to the player after the game to ask him his feelings–something that real football journalists do–then it’s all just piss-poor conjecture.

–Poor Syracuse. Clearly, their new athletic director Daryl Gross–formerly of USC–was trying to duplicate his previous hiring of Pete Carroll when he chose Greg Robinson. I can imagine his thinking process: Defensive coach? Check. White hair? Check. No previous college success as a head coach? Check. Boyish good looks? Check. Square jaw? Check. He’s a Pete clone! Yay!

With these looks, he should be winning a couple national titles any time now…any time now…any time now.

–It would be easier for the ‘Cuse if Perry Patterson played an entire season like he did against Louisville, when he really showed some great flashes. Patterson has a very strong arm and NFL size. Unfortunately, that size is akin of an NFL nose tackle right now; he has legs like the Michelin Man.

–I wouldn’t be shocked if Jeff Samardzija wrapped up the Biletnikoff Award with his performance against Stanford. USC’s Dwayne Jarrett will need two or three touchdowns against UCLA to have a shot.

–We don’t talk about recruiting much here, but someone emailed me this stunning list of the 11 players making official visits to USC this weekend. Of the 11, eight are five-star prospects and the other three are four-star guys. That’s amazing and it is a testament to how Carroll is keeping things going at USC. Don’t expect too much dropoff, even with the loss of Leinart and Bush.

–Is the gap between No. 1 and No. 3 this big? After all, Arkansas scored 17 against both USC and LSU. However, the Trojans put up 70 while the Tigers put up 19. What happened to all that offensive talent LSU supposedly has?

–Think scheme doesn’t matter? Any offensive system that can get a back like Darius Walker 1,000 yards is performing miracles.

–Auburn is really lucky that they lost those three NFL first-rounders from their backfield. It enabled them to have more yards of total offense, score more points and even get more rushing yards than last season. The only real difference, of course, is that this year they had to play a legitimate out of conference team (Georgia Tech) and, of course, they lost. I know, they lost to LSU, too, but that game could have gone either way, right? Just like last year’s 10-9 win over the Tigers. Anyway, does Al Borges get to be a genius yet?

–True, Urban Meyer didn’t run rampant through the SEC like we thought he would (not yet, anyway), but if you are a Gator fan you can’t be too unhappy right now. After all, Meyer was able to go 8-3, beat FSU, Tennessee and Georgia, and he did it all with a clunky offense that put up similar numbers to his first-year offenses when he was at Bowling Green and Utah. If you can go 8-3 in the SEC with an offense that ‘doesn’t work’, then what will happen when it has a year under its belt and more suitable personnel running it?

–It sure was nice to see Adrian Peterson back again. Man, can that guy run! In all reality, he’s the player with the best shot at beating out Brady Quinn for the Heisman next year. He’s got a lot of Heisman capital saved up for a great run at it. You know, also, that it’ll be his last year and he’ll be looking to tear it up in preparation for the NFL draft. If Quinn messes up, Peterson will be right there (assuming he’s healthy).

Way to finish strong, A.D.

–I’m struck by how many teams just aren’t that good this year. Outside of USC and Texas, there’s just not much there. Teams either have some major flaws, like bad offensive systems (LSU, Ohio State, Miami) or poor defenses (UCLA, Oregon, Notre Dame). I’m afraid that after the Rose Bowl, people aren’t going to be thinking much of Texas, either. Which is a shame because, just like Oklahoma last year, they are a good team.