Who Won’t Win The Heisman In 2011

Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone’s not a genius? Do you especially think I’m not a genius? [Pause] You didn’t even have to think about it, did you?

— Eli Cash, character in The Royal Tenenbaums

Figuring out the essentials of the Heisman race is as much about knowing who can’t win as who can.

As much as I love Phil Steele, handicapping the Heisman is not about throwing a list of 50 guys against a wall and seeing who sticks. In reality, there’s probably only 10 players out there who have a real chance at winning in a given season.

That group usually consists of:

1. Established quarterbacks, running backs or multi-purpose athletes who play for traditional powers or teams in the national title race.

2. Currently unknown commodities from powerhouse schools who have yet to emerge on the scene.

As for who won’t win, let’s start by throwing out all the linebackers, defensive linemen, defensive backs, offensive tackles, fullbacks, tight ends and non-kick-or-punt-returning wide receivers right now, even though you are certain to, at some point, read an off-the-wall column about one of them having a shot at, or an argument for, the trophy.

They don’t.

There is an award for linebackers–it’s called a Butkus. There are a bunch of awards for the big uglies–the Outland, the Lombardi, the Nagurski and so on. If you are a fine defensive back, good for you. Go get the Thorpe. And no, I don’t care if his coach really thinks he should win. He won’t.

Yes, I know that some gutty player from a little school going 12-0 is probably going to throw for 5 million yards. Too bad. Unless he really does throw for 5 million yards, he doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning.

So Tank Carder, Manti Te’o, Justin Blackmon, Mark Barron, Michael Floyd, Jared Crick, Luke Kuechly, Ryan Lindley, Jeff Fuller, Alshon Jeffery, Ryan Broyles*, Dan Persa, LaVonte David, Travis Lewis and the rest of you fine players of similar position out there…..I’m sorry. Some of you may get some votes, but you are not legitimate Heisman candidates any more than Ron Paul is a legitimate Presidential candidate.

Now that this is established, we can move on to talking about who has a chance at actually winning the trophy.

Remember, here at HP we look at the race as it is, not how it should be.

* — Yeah, I’m aware that Broyles returns punts.  But 7.9 yards per return isn’t going to get it done.  When he starts breaking some big returns a la Desmond Howard and Tim Brown, he’ll be in this race.

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About Heismanpundit

Chris Huston, A.K.A. ‘The Heisman Pundit‘, is a Heisman voter and the creator and publisher of Heismanpundit.com, a site dedicated to analysis of the Heisman Trophy and college football. Dubbed “the foremost authority on the Heisman” by Sports Illustrated, HP is regularly quoted or cited during football season in newspapers across the country. He is also a regular contributor on sports talk radio and television.

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4 Responses to Who Won’t Win The Heisman In 2011

  1. DonnieDuck July 15, 2011 at 8:15 am #

    I agree with you above read except for one part… Ron Paul is a viable candidate for the 2012 run. It is media like this that makes people beleive that he is not. Our country needs him more than ever! I hope one of the above “RON PAUL” heisman candidates proves you wrong so you can sit and EAT CROW! RON PAUL 2012! LaMichael James 2011 HEISMAN!!!!

  2. Old Ducker July 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    uh, so Ron Paul isn’t a legitimate candidate while the other neocon, establishment, christian zionist whackjobs are? What planet do you live on? Oh I’m not claiming Ron Paul will survive the primaries; most americans are just fucking stupid. We will deserve what we get and it’s not that far off.

  3. HP July 17, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    Hey, I agree with a lot of what Ron Paul says. But he ain’t gonna be President. I’m just being a realist about it.

  4. Underscore_Hero July 20, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    How do you feel about Bryant Moniz out of Hawaii?

    He led the country in passing yards (5,040 yards), touchdown passes (39) and total offense (367.3).